Good things in life .. still exist..

Listening to Blues.. n Reggae...
OOOhhh... OOOh.. Mellow mood s got me... :) :)
~
Whatever.. However.. it goes...
im smiling right now.. .. all i know.. is that.. il make a very interesting person when im like 50 years old..
I'll have a huge bunch of interesting stories to tell.. a killer of a music collection.. a massive cooking recipes ...n a lot of travelling tips ;) ;)
so.. what defines me..
my roots ? my family ? my friends ? my profession ? my choices ? n all the crap...
(at some level.. ya... but.. i guess .. il answer this later to myself)

so.. i was told .. some long time back.. its all about me.. in my life..
n i say.. Hay ! who else it should be about ? ;)

"Its Elementary my dear Watson"

HAHAHAHAHA ~ HAHAHAHAHA ~ HAHAHAHAHA ~ HAHAHAHAHA

Song Recommendation- Mellow Mood, Bob Marley

Casablanca... Sigh...

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by...

And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by...

Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date.
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny.

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by...

Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.

Lets make some Noise !!

so .. the eventful days are still going strong..
everyday begins with a new story.. n the night fades with further shades...

today... shruts.. came up with an idea... of preparing for an exhibition.. the creativity dying in us..is probably trying to reach out.. or it may be cz of the fact that we have been exposed to a lot of motivational ideas.. or music.. which rings a bell in our heads . . our hearts.. n then u know -- there s sumthin we have to do.. gotta do..
a Gallery idea- deep rooted idea in my self snuffled today.. lets see if we can make some noise out of it .
LETS MAKE SOME NOISE !!!

Song Recommended-
Distant Places by Penn Masala

what comes around goes around..

As far as i know myself.. i am one of those people who let things run things..
Never been the change agent kinds.. never wanted to change much things in life..
Things occurred to me only when they hit me.. and thats how its always been for me.

In quest of sorting things.. i have messed up ..
In quest of mending things.. i have goofed up..
I sometimes think i am a fucking wise ass.. capable of pulling off everything under the sky(which i m not denying, its so freaking true) but boss.. i am a human at the end of the day.. i get distracted.. i get confused.. i get lazy a LOT.. and yes ! i Fuck up .. some times... I Fuck up Huge !!
Its one of those days .. or one of those times which hit u in a span of 3-4 years.. when u question your actions in the past 5 years.. n sit back n think.. n try and conclude..

If you can make sense outa your past actions and current scenarios, Great !
If you are able to put the pieces together , Awesome !
If you are not.. then maybe its not the right time.. or maybe it wasnt meant to come together.
Past few months have been crucial for me...
made me make an attempt to get back to me.. me the my pure self.. which was so covered in dust...
my inclination towards music, my specific bands which made all the sense in this world to me, my fav music artists, few authors i studied.. with whom i could relate to.. help discover myself..
few things i loved doing as a child-
1. listening to music
2. painting/ sketching
3. writing
4. plain simple loving n living..

that s how simple it used to be.. day began with bon jovi.. ended with dire straits or pink floyd..
life had a meaning to it.. people in my life were important, they meant something to me.. today also most of my old friends hold most meaning in my life...
tonight i feel so small in front of life.. in front of this cosmic theater, feel so small to realize that how so ever planed you go.. how so ever a controlled experiment rather social experiment you carry on.. your hypothesis and conclusion might never match..
right now if someone would ask to wish to relive, i would relive-
1. any one psychology lecture from 3rd yr
2. one evening frm sec 15, chd
3. one night frm my last place in chd, sec 36
4. one evening at senapati bhawan(TA Mess), jpr
5. one evening at the chinkara institute, jpr
6. a day in IIS (hmm.. on 2nd thoughts half day in IIS) [even better th day i got suspended along with a few batch mates]
7. one day with dewnie in jpr, ambabari house
8. one evening , cycling on the streets of pratap lines, jpr
9. a day with awesome friends(ananya, gargi, suchi, kiddo, chinkx, manas, mihir, raja, sony , neha, shruti n plenty more...)
10. one day in AWHO, jpr

I guess one day will come when i will glorify my past 3 years spent in noida too..
n ill make a wish list of re living this night.. n im sure .. cuz its a thumb rule..
what goes around-- comes around..

Recommended song-
Shine on you crazy diamond- Pink floyd
"Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky
Shine on you crazy diamond."

New Beginning !!!

Its 2nd January 2011… and I am sitting in my awesome quilt (mom gifted :o) in my new place. Me and Shally have finalized managed to rent a place for ourselves. Which is perfect in short ;)
This note is special dedication to celebrate and document this entire journey we had together. We struggled through 2 weeks of winter evenings looking at the shitiest and crapiest places our city had to offer… Eventually our struggle ended and we found this place for ourselves.
This new year will definitely mark the beginning of a year we all wanted… where personal space and work will be priority :)
Interesting things about the shifting-
1. It took 6 rounds to shift all our things!
2. Our Broker got us ‘mithai’(barfi) as house warming gift :)
3. TV is already cable connected(thus I m sitting in my bed, watching TV and working on lappi)
4. I have humungous cupboards :D
5. I am sure we have worked out a LOT in the last 3 days..(as we ve shifting from 2nd floor room to another 2nd floor )
6. We got sandwich griller, blower and juices glasses as complimentary gifts in the room :P

Sad things about leaving our place-
1. Only one thing- Leaving behind 4 great friends and an adda, we used to call our own
I sincerely hope this place brings all that we hope for and more..
It’s a new beginning at the start of the year in true sense.
Cheers to all and god bless us all !!

PS- the pic is the blanky resting on my bed ... so warm :)) *happi*

saturday moviee time !!

anjana anjani- saturday- one cute guy- taken.. yes taken...

the only motivation to watch the movie was to do sumthing on saturday evening and the film's music.

saying this the 100 th time- i loave the music of the film.

Things to notice in the movie-

1. Un convincing story line

2. Un believable characters

3. shaky camera in the initial scenes.

4. priyanka chopra's swollen lips (ugly !!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

5. ranbir's pink nose in the cold (so cute !!!!!!)

6. weird character names like- kiara... (like wats that??!!!)

7. priyanka chopra's big hairr-- baalon ka tabela !!

8. ranbir 's shavin foam scene ;) [girls who hv seen th movie wud knw]

9. awusumm music--- hairat and i feel good...serisuly good songs

10. how every female character in hindi movies explain her weird behaviour motivation as 'following the signs'

11. how many times serendipity ripp off wud b attempted..

12. what did the makers of the movie made ranbir cry so much for..

13. serisuly.. toward the end i was happi fr the guy.. finally 'kiara' was off him :P

14. the last scene was kinda cute (letting out my romantic side a bit :P)

15. under usage of las vegas !!!

hmm... all other ppl watching the movie and wanting to giv their comments are invited..

u can go for the movie if u like ranbir , pop corn n sm good vishal shekhar music :)))

... destination anywhere...

Its so difficult to comprehend whats happening to my life since the past month... Ive not stayed at one address fr more than 4days at stretch...
typically speakin... Its been an amazin 'learning curve' for me...
The entire process of puttin together AddEdge... From its initial inception.. To chalking out th entire 'game plan'(as we call it:p) to think of jugaads to get initial moolah... Do all jiggery poggery at ex office... Maintaining three identities in the same industry simultaneously...all th gyan at th financial accounting end... It was all in phases... But it was piece by piece n by raw efforts... Leading to full filling results... Me n abhi hav become weird beings... Sleepin at any times, wakin up nytime... Eatin at odd hours, not compromising on the fat content:p
tried to sleep early today, got up due to call .. n now...cant sleep... I thot it wud b nice to write down a blog entry..(so usin my office edition on mah nu phaone) khee khee...il post it tmr mornin...
We went to mentor...fr signing our first official contract... I dont knw how exactly i sud feel abt it, cz mostly im slow wid realizing my emotions abt most of the things...gues ther is a sense of semi achievement.... N happiness... Real (materialistic) happiness awaited for october.. :p
An imp lesson learnt the hard way in the transition -
'be prepared to get screwed over' :P
my holiday home seems so tempting right now..m sure i wd hv been asleep thre by now..
Gettin wet twice in th rains today was an interesting exp.... Ive never seen city rains to get that worst... Wid crazi lighting company, which still btw continues...
Damn the radio is so sad at night...
Wen will i sleep? Wen will i sleep?

This was last monday's post.. coming out now...

very bad....

Aisha Weekend…

Saturday… as boring and drooling it was… Aisha – the movie came to be my savior…
I felt as if I missed having a big fren circle, like college… getting up and landing anywhere…
Anyway… came back home.. downloaded songs from the movie and made Rishikesh’s instant plan:):)
So malli is gonna check the arrangements tomorrow and we are all set…
Loads of things to be taken care of … and lota things have already been taken care of..
Finished Dork , Inmmortals of Meluha recently.. I am on ‘a case of exploding mangoes’ now…
Mum dad too planning to come over.. hectic weeks coming up…
Had so many thoughts to write down… but cant really organize them..
Things to be done-
Get lappi fixed once n fr all.
Get moving to a new acc.
Get more BD happening..
And… yes… resuming morning walks + yoga…

Long live good Life :D

Song Dedication- Shaam by Amit Trivedi, Nueman Pinto (Aisha- 2010)
(playin in my ears right now)

Remembering Dewnie....

Had a few thoughts about not posting this... but then i remembered what a rock star my dog was... n dewnie deserves her good life accounted for. She was a little tiny black thing which came into our lives in a csd carton.
As she grew up.... she turned a brown in colour.. thus becoming a.k.a 'bhoori lal'
Dewnie was a spoilt kid at home, as we considered doodle to be an elder to her..
Didi n i have shared so many hillarious times with her that i can totally go laughing remembering them...
Dewnie had a thing for umbrellas and wipers... didi drove her crazi n teased her all day with those things...
I also remember she being a prob kid since she was a puppy... once she ate so much garbage that she only puked big strips of cloth... leading kiddo to name her 'textile mill' :)
Most of the evenings in jaipur doodle's tail used to be in dewnie's mouth and they would be running all across the lawn.
She was so small... i still remember putting gargi's 'smoodles' frenship band as her collar..
She grew up to be a big dog,,, scaring most of the people away...
She traveled the most with mum dad... she lived with them at 5 stations... and finally took her final rest in our hometown...
Dewnie's life is an example of well lived life... we loved her and she gave it all back and more...

Will miss you ! My dear wet nose....

All in a day's work ....

One of the very new experiences for me…Never really thought I would sit in any office and right down a post for my blog…interesting:)
Office space is always a charged up environment, and even more so in my nature of work… Recruitment is such a people oriented –people dependent natured work that its insanely challenging. Your results never depend on your efforts but un fairly dependent on other people’s fancies and frills. Recruiters reading this would definitely understand what I mean…
The thought process juggling around in my mind right now is the choices we make in our professional lives. Here I m not talking about big choices in terms of job change, business choices, etc
What I am thinking of are the smaller choices, soft choices we make… may be our choice of how we speak.. our choice of what to speak where.. our choice of maintaining integrity, integrity towards ourselves and integrity towards others who work with us. All the concepts of team / team cohesiveness / co-ordination of work.. all these principles we learn about(rather just talk about) in management classes are mostly kept within the four walls of classroom or kept at the back of our heads.
What happens to our consciousness? What happens to the ‘moral science’ lessons that were taught in grade2 ? Or was it just me with a couple of handful of people who actually got these lessons? Is it all about education in the end? Or is it about REAL education.. Education- I don’t mean an IIT /IIM degree.. I don’t mean a fancy US/UK degree…. An Education that enables us to make the right choices… An education not from the mugging up formulae and reproducing them on examination paper, An education that comes from your introspection, your experiences, education from elders, from seniors, from your own experiences is the best education we can get…. It’s a free source rather in web lingo, an ‘open source’ we are exposed to… then why is there an alarming degradation in people’s professional behavior ? Was it always like this? Am I the one whose obviously learning it right now? Is this what is growing, being an adult?
Is being an professional /working adult equal to – losing your integrity, playing the blame game, shrugging your responsibilities – and just saving your *** all the time… keeping the top management happy and leaving behind your peers or juniors?
I thought Growing up was tough…. but today I think learning through experience is tougher and getting an education from within is the toughest !!!!

Dedicated to Shruts !

So.. i was with Shruts after a long due time, n i told her i was doing this piece on 'gurl power', she wanted to contribute in her own cute way... n thus comes in the power puff girls pic, courtesy her.


Here is what i wrote(over the period of 2-3 weeks, the content might seem to be too dis oriented) about the over empowering gurl power i witness every day, one day at a time. Power puff gurls taking over the city, destroying all the evils !

“Music… it’s the most relished elixir of life, in my life.

It makes me smile, it makes me cry.

It makes me dance, it makes me shake.

It makes me think, it makes me crazy.

It makes me remember, it makes me memorize.

Sitting in dhar’s room, been thinking of writing a new post about something that’s been happening around, something real, something stirring.

But… Hey’ who am I kidding here?! Life s a bad sport and it keeps reminding us that how screwed up we can be and well.. rather are.

Most of my girlfriends are going through a lotta soul searching, they are in the so called “ideal” age to age hitched ;) [please read: married] how awful..

The ones who have boyfriends are scared and confused about how to break the news to their parents. The ones who don’t have a boyfriend are sick of looking for a suitable husband material, and constantly running outta guys, as they have rejected all available on match making websites.

(man.. its worst than running outta EDA RnD Engineers) :P

Right now I realize that such power houses surround me, you’ll often catch them smiling in the distant, or maybe lost in their thoughts. Sometimes they will pamper you like your own mother, sometimes they’ll give you a look that will kill you at least.

These power houses are the real women, very much part of my today’s life.. We are friends, we are colleagues, we are flat mates, we are fellow shoppers, we are fellow metro travelers, we are everyone that we want to be today !!! “

Hmm… the above piece was written about a week back and today I continue…

I am in constant contact with women, who are very different, who come from varied background, varied education backgrounds… but they all, rather we all have some things for sure in common:

1. Drive: Drive to make a mark and be successful in their own definitions.

2. Find Happiness: Find happiness in small things in life, like a tea chat or a cooking together session.

3. Need for Independence: Need for Independence, so that they live every day for themselves.

4. Hope: Hope they will better professionals, the best daughters, the ideal partners…

There is so much out there to be done.. but all we chose to do is : is to talk about it !

(to be very honest, I should re quote myself; “There is so much out there to be done.. but all I chose to do is - is to blog about it”


Song Recommended:

Carole King, Its too late, OST the Lake House

Uff yeh nazara kisne banaya… chand ke saath chakor

Sitting in my mad rajai, sipping indigenously produced black coffee…
Oh damn… last nite, goddess of good times asked me a silly question
“Have u ever felt like an ***?”
And I very instantly responded.. Yeah.. a LOTAA times..
Hmm.. as if this insanity filled rather stupidity filled life doesn’t make you feel like an a** !!! Like all the time ….
So there we were… back to our crowded room, not crowded with people as much as crowded by clutter….
Thinking what went wrong or is it about the timings or something more meaningful.
What I have realized it, also re affirmed by a good friend of mine that as kids we had better laid plans in life and that gave it a direction all the time.
As it holds good for any well managed company to reinvent and re invest, in the same way it holds good for any human being that his life should be managed as an organization, where timely reinventing and re investing is required and is a must !
Have quarterly targets set out for oneself, have a review sitting/introspection, decide, improvise, proceed and achieve!!!

Song Recommended:
Uff yeh Nazara by Mohit Chauhan, Fitoor 2009
(though the song has no connection whatso ever with the gyan i jus gave away)

Riders on the storm…

There is something about this song… it’s intense captivating power is so influencing that no one can miss its impact.

This song has a power to set a mood, strike a chord.. the song’s sounds took me back to essence of goa- its moist atmosphere… the entire feel and look for that place- I like to call the sandland.
It was all about water there… sometimes the sea and most of the times – the rains….
The time I was there this year, goa was flooded with major rainfalls!!!
But that couldn’t stop me from having a good time…

“there s a killer on the road …… riders on the storm”
“gurl u gotta luv ur man… tak him by the hand, make him understand, the world on u depends….”

Along with the tunes of this song… I can recall random snapshots from inside my head-
- the hill top view in vagator.
- The random guy tryin to sell some grass.
- A couple holding hands on green fields facing the sea.
- Relaxing Evenings at chill out
- Tiger watching “hbo”
- Jackie’s crazi lousy dog
- Palolem, very different stream beach
- Morjim’s high tides(scary fr a moment)
- The desired clear blue sky at chapora fort
- Tiny turtle meeting at velankini
- Running around on roads, lookin fr a lost fren without phone.
- Buying cheapest wine(only Rs45) for 750ml
- Finding better groceries at vegator than spencers
- White linen drying on the green fields
- Coconut trees standing tall along the roads.
- Warm smiles from strangers
- Having a lemonade on the only hot day I experienced in goa.
- Activa drives… truly the best rides I have ever had on 2wheelers
- Managing to break an Activa’s rare view mirror, 5 minutes before returning it.
- Finding a deadend on the road, taking a ferry to reach to the other side.
- Sizzler chicken n crispy noodles at palolem
- Seagulls fishing at Morjim.
- Humans fishing everywhere
- The amazing natured stray dogs at all beaches.
- Sea full of crazi people at calangote beach.
- The insane search for – bean up
- Bus travel from vegator to malegaon to colva
- Shitty food at 49’ers
- Finding a Tourist’s journal at Mangro Tree n proving how insane foreigners can be.
- Wondering who killed the smile of Spicejet’s air hostesses.
- Staring at Arabian Sea and big ships which looked really tiny from 2000 mtrs height.
- This reminded me of google maps.
- Getting wet and staying wet for 4 days continuously.
- Driving on NH-18 (pilot ride on real highway)
- The view on the highway was so outta the world, and seemed to be right outa a movie scene.
- Looking at all the churches, but stepped inside none.
- Finding petrol at all huts(Rs 50 per bottle)
- Finding a bakery in middle of nowhere.
- Finding orchards while managing to lose the directions.

And there are plenty more….. guess we all have memories to last.. . . n to be recalled once in a while.

Cheers !
Song Recommended- Has to be ‘Riders on the Storm” but The Doors !

Glooomyyyy Festival Season..... Makes me feel cold !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well..
i tried to do somethin with my blog appearance and apparently cudnt do much :(
i so used to out-sourcing everythin that i feel like a drag sometimes .. to actually do any WORK!!!
ironically my Facebook status msg rather says that i am hungry for work.. does that ring a bell to me ?! or to nybody for that matter.
sometimes.. rather currently .. i am stratin to get this feeling that we jus dont live for ourselves !!! there is this HUGE pile of other ppl's lives that we carry around n we have be with them n be good to them n live for them.. like them cud be nyone.. from ur friends to parents to spouses .. goddddd................
is this abt the 'social being' or wot..
i never get it... rather i know i wud get it.. its jus my head is tooooooo clogged to get to an answer.
most of the ppl around my life , my age ppl are goin thru crisis times like all the time.. we do actually live on everyday basis... hopin fr the weekend to come.. have a merry weekend.. n hey then comes the dreadful monday.. n comes along the wait fr another weekend ...
wats the point if all this ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i suppose there isnt ny point to all of this except for the fact that i need to get sloshed tonight.. oh i so DONT wana do dat.. or i jus need to go out.. into the cold winds that might jus get my brains outta the brain freeze allrightttttt

thank god.. goddess of good times.. is on her way from the office n she can tak me out ... hopefuuly for a goodtime or ny time...

Song Recommended-
Be my baby- The Ronettes

its been a long long time.. i was here... rather i was here... but jus cudnt make myself drop a few lines..
i still have a lot to put here.. from goa trip to my days in this crazi land... which seems so mine,, but it still cant keep me away from wanting to move to a new one :P

hope in the comin days, ill have enuf time to get my post flowing.

What’s become of me?!

It feels strange and out of control – the whole situation I have got my self stuck into.
Left my decently paying, recently comfortable job for a more comfortable sabbatical back at home, all under the hoax of preparing for the so called “MBA” entrances.
All I see right now in front of me is a BIG BLA !!! Laughing at my face.
Sometimes I believe that going deep into corporate shit and kicking it out right at the peak hour would be the best thrill and achievement I can treat myself to.

What is it that I want to achieve – I have mediocre dreams because that’s who I am a Mediocre, always been one and will always be one…
I don’t understand what is the fuss about this fact, which has been the reality of my life and a fact which is re-instigated over various occasions spreading across my life.
Well, one fact I learnt very soon in my life was that – No matter what we can do , have done, will do… there always be someone better off than you and someone whose worse off than you.
So at any given point of time, at least I would always be found in the in equilibrium, dancing somewhere in the middle of the scale, never making it to the extremes and always resulting so, outta no efforts.
Effortlessly – is the word.. I am ready to do anything, if it doesn’t require EFFORT :P
Ya.. right.. as if that’s gonna happen :P

Paah.. living outa a bag (stupid black duffle bag since my birthday last month).
Had bunkers all around the cities….. Delhi, Gurgaon, Noida, Ghaziabad…
And I very royally still have no clue as to where I am gonna put in my shoes finally for the next two months…
Am I really so messy? Am I really ‘don’t wana decide’ kinds? Am I really a misfit OR I just pretend to be one cuz I swear by you , its just easy and simple this way.. to be a misfit.. appear to be a wonky, disconnected from the real world.. I am a care free bird.. gimme wings..(no not the redbull ones, I hate Red Bull)
Anyway… what’s become of me… and what will become of me.. is all that im gonna figure out in 6 months time.
I remember I was so permanent 6 months back.. I knew what I was doing, I knew what was coming my way.. it was a good year(the second half) only one major achievement pending for this year from my to do list for 2009, rather two:P
The most important one reads green done on the excel sheet, it was – GOA Trip[Status check- Totally nailed it]
(I suddenly feel so geeky to accept the fact that I maintain an Excel to keep track of my things to do)
Last night I realized that there aint a specific time to start or renew my to do list, I shouldn’t wait for 2010…
So few early entries are-
1. Getting a CAR(I don’t care if it’s a second or a third hand)
2. I wana start swimming or start playing basketball( I wana be good naah… maybe mediocre at it, that s the best im gonna try.. cuz u knw my theory.. .. the scale and the equilibrium , bla bla)
Peace Out, Cheers !
Song Recommended: All Along the Watchtower, Original by Bob Dylan
Cover by Jimi Hendrix.

PS: written on : 20 th Oct 09
Published : right now :P

Count-down Begins...

As my days to say goodbye to this paradise land are nearing, i am becoming more and more nostalgic... Posting a few glimpses of my time spent here...
There are the Dhauladhars, a classic olive green fauji Enfeild, my dog tryin to drink water frm a random bottle, miracle street dog(she managed to get herself almost killed under a jeep, but now is in best of her health, not less than a miracle:P)
and ofcourse.. a few of my fav spots in the station.

Count-down has begun but I still dont wana say goodbye...........

13th Sep 09

Though the day seemed a regular Sunday to me… with waking up late, dodging mum’s parathas and settling for an apple instead, brief driving lesson with dad(managing to pass with B grade :P ) gradually the day turned out to be a li more than a regular Sunday. As the evening approached I was told that we were visiting one of maternal relative’s house (munna aunty and munna uncle, that’s what they are called outa affection in the family) and I was coming by default. I showed a li resistance but mothers have their own ways.. so I had to succumb to the visiting plan.. and off we were to Sidhbari(small place near Dharamshala, hp).
I had heard a lot of stories about Munna aunty and uncle’s house, I had heard that they have a beautiful house with tall trees around, perfectly laid garden, a li pond at the back, colorful flowers blooming everywhere.. a picture perfect house with amazing decor inside. Being a spectator one would think and wish to own and be at this place.
Trust me when I reached there, it was better than I just explained it here..

After the usual greeting, Dad and I went for a li round of the place and garden.. it felt peaceful and just like a home everyone wud wana be at.
While on the walk my dad reminded me of Munna Uncle’s illness and mental health and it all came back to me that many years back I had heard of Munna uncle, who is suffering from schizophrenia(psychotic disorder,symptoms like- derailment, delusions, loss of reality). His treatment has been going on for more than 20 years now. Though today he has recovered markedly but is still under strong medication.
Munna Uncle served as an Army Officer(Engineers), with remarkable career history before he was diagnosed with schizophrenic disorder.
His last posting was in sikkim before his initial symptoms of schizophrenia were detected and he soon had to retire from the Army.
Since his retirement aunty and uncle live in their beautiful house, which was designed by Munna uncle himself.
They are blessed with two daughters both married and working, so that leaves uncle and aunty living all by themselves in their dream house. While Uncle floats in his thoughts, munna aunty is the one who keeps them intact and holds - him, his delusions, her wishes, their life together.
Munna Aunty – An inspiration, head to toe !!
Her smile is majestic and its truly her real beauty which enhances the place around her.

Along with the hot cups of tea, home made butter cake, Munna aunty took me and my parents back in time.. she started to tell us about their childhood days at my grandparents village, called Bhagotla(hp). How my mum and she used to run around their rice fields and used to spectate the water run grain- grinder work.
All this while, Munna uncle was in his bedroom.. floating in his thoughts, I really wonder what they were….
Human Brain… a mystery which would only get wilder with time,,, cuz our brain is not getting any simpler with time… listening to my mother’s childhood days only made me long for mine and left me to gloom over the fact that future is going to be such a devoid.

Meanwhile, A bigger blow hit me, when Munna aunty told me that uncle was also suffering from bipolar depression and recently she also has been diagnosed with major(uniploar) depression.
But, trust me an outsider can never tell what they are going through. Munna Aunty is so full of life, lives in best of the comfort and is so humble and a great hostess.
She manages the entire house, is excellent at gardening, infact she has an amazing way of trimming her lawn(she calls local horse breeders with their horses and her lawn acts as a big treat to the horses:P). She manages uncle's psychiatric appointments, her medical appointments, maintains her house not less than Sheraton and leaves all alike me in awe.

As I mentioned before, she is an INSPIRATION head to toe.. while talking to her sometimes I just wished to hug her and sometimes I just admired her for her courage and her patience.
Staying close to home / family(though extended) definitely has its own share of highlights and well today’s evening was one of them.

Believe me when I got back home I re opened my Psychological Disorders book and read through the Schizophrenia chapter. I didn’t really wanted to sound like a shrink to my aunt and therefore curbed most of the queries I had about uncle’s diagnosis by psychiatrists and the causes according to them, which might have caused this disorder to occur.
Schizophrenia can be caused due to multiple causes and usually doesn’t have any permanent cure, only medication helps that too it just helps doesn’t cures.

Its lessons like these that makes sit and think and really wonder… that this life is full of real life Heros and how my life’s big issues seem so petty… infact I felt so petty…
Well.. to be honest… conciling my thoughts over this post took a lot outa me and im literally out of words to conclude this.
I cant really put finger on what exactly moved me today so much… the irony of my aunt-uncle’s lives, Munna Aunty’s dedication to her husband, her godly spirit, human capacity’s extent, my limitedness…

What ever it may be.. may be all of it.. !!!
“Let there be peace” Amen!

Lets all be Idiots !!!!

its 9.34 pm as per my watch n im sittin in front of my computer screen n I have been staring at it for sometime now..
a very close friend of mine asked me an intriguing question, to which i did answer \...but still would like to ponder upon it further.
so the basic essence of her question was "why do we make decisions against our will?” OR “why do we make decisions without thinking through the outcome?” sometimes its even worst, when we make decisions knowing that its gonna reap hell.. but hey’ wt the heck you must try it, to know it.
Its basically being an idiot, rather it can be called a state of IDIOCY…we fall into it once in a while and make silly decisions and then the questions I mentioned above are precisely the questions we ask ourselves.
Idiocy is one of the side dishes to being human, like .. a dip with a dish of potato wedges! Life is the potato wedge dish and idiocy is the dip… It doesn’t matter you like the dip or no.. it will be served to you.. and whether you like it or not.. you would surely dip your potato wedge in the dip at least once. And then my dear you have tasted the idiocy which will follow you no matter what.

Why why why.. Are all humans really idiots? Do sometimes really our brains doesn’t work at all. We all commit mistakes and then after a while realize what did we do?! And later cant even remember which rationale made us take that decision , hmm… so much for “repressed memory” ;P
Sigmund Freud was a man of mans… gave humans so many excuses that now it s a fashion statement to be a psycho path.. cuz man… you must have been an interesting, difficult, complicated entity to be so twisted.
I was surprised and so would you be… I found a very old personal journal of mine.. may be dated back to my [s]cool days… I found written on one of the entries- “Three men I love: 1. Kurt Cobain 2. Oscar Wilde 3. Sigmund Freud” I was like :-O
If I sit and think about it now.. yes these three personalities have definitely had a major major influence in my life, in my growing up days.. no wonder I am , I was so twisted all the time in head.. and now it occurs to me that none of them are alive today.. and all of them have been in centre of controversies, they were know to take the uncanny way and all of them were inconsistent with consistent brilliant work.
And they all had sad ends… but the world still remembers them n googles about them. That’s nothing to complaint about.
I believe we all are brilliant idiots !!! and sometimes one takes on a better part of us… making us do what we shouldn’t have done.
But hey… in the end.. whose to judge ?!

Long live Human Idiocy …. It’s brilliant ways are always around the corner.

PS- Shruts, August has 2 now :-)!

When the Idea strikes !!!

i think great ideas strike only in midst of desperation... that AA-HA feeling about which i was taught in my psychology lecture...thats the feeling you get and then u ride a high tide.. it feels amazin n then theres no stopping to ur dreams.. its jus AWESUMMM........
im cold struck right now... n my head feels like it weighs more than me and im currently over-weight :(
but yeah.... a lot of ideas flow in while u r sick in bed or when you really stuck... its similar to the fact that when you have a near death like experience, you can see your life in whole new light all together.
Its great to have a lot cookin up there ;)
i wish we all out here, feel like this once in a while, ... and get high on our own self... best feelin ever !!!
im dedicating this post to my friend, my first official boss,,, who taught me all i know abt all the work i can do professionally... n i think im good at it,,, thanks to her !!!

LET THE IDEA STRIKE US ALL !!!!

Song recommended-
When the levee breaks, Led Zeppelin.